Lauri Matisse Writer

Weaving Light

River of Gold

Finding Your River of Gold

We have all heard of “the starving artist.” Even though I have been fortunate enough to live off of my creative endeavors, I have many times shared the path of “the starving artist.” In fact, there is a certain amount of “starving” that an artist, writer, or creator must feel in order to be in touch with the creative soul.

Elohim, the great Creator, formed the heavens and the earth from the original Creative Spirit, when the Ruach H’Kodesh, the holy breath exhaled on the face of the waters. Wow. I wonder what his inhale was like?!

To be in touch with God’s Creative Spirit, there is a certain amount of “starving” or “crying out” that a true artist must feel. A crying out for more. We must inhale, seeking to draw in creative energy and inspiration, before we exhale and pour it out in our work.

“Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the Kingdom of God.”* When there are no finances or comforts coming in, a soul has to look inward and upward. What was I made for? What is my purpose on earth? An artist or writer, must be ever-seeking that inward depth of soul in order to achieve an ever-higher journey of creativity, thus completing successful, purposeful work throughout one’s life cycle on earth.

An award winning and deeply inspired composer friend of mine, Marco Rosetti, who scored my short film, The Heart Beat, and contributed his amazing talent to Eve the Musical, said to me, “We, as artists, are the directors of the human soul.”

My famous quote, or not so famous, ha ha, is, “To be created as an artist seems to be God’s cruel joke.” Musicians, Artists, Writers, and Creators, must retain sensitivity in order to create, yet they must put their work before the rest of the world, often who are not as sensitive.

Without the emotional or financial freedom to create, an artist’s work can become a watered down, worthless, regurgitation of another person’s creative journey. To “sell out” is the worst fate of a true artist.

Most of us have had to sell out at one point or another, but as the window of my journey on earth closes, I find that I don’t have time to write words, or paint strokes, unless they are words or lines that have been mined in the caverns of the authenticity of my soul.

This takes time alone. Gold is mined in a cave, where one needs courage to go into the dark, unknown or uncertain place.  In a river, one pans for gold, which takes patience and time.

Isaiah writes, “I will give you the treasures of darkness, and hidden riches of secret places.”** It is in these dark and mysterious places, mined and panned, with courage, time and patience, an artist can find his or her Rio de Oro, River of Gold, pouring from their soul into their life’s work.

My soul cries out for the more. My soul deeply yearns to take a dip in my Rio de Oro, maybe even a swim. Perhaps even plunge over the waterfall of my river into the unknown pool of my creativity. I have one life on this planet and to live without creating from my soul simply doesn’t work for me. If we, as true artists, are the directors of the human soul, it is not only our responsibility, but our privilege and highest calling, to be in touch with the soul, in order to create works of art that will move the mountains of the mundane.

Henry Miller writes, “Men are not suffering from the lack of good literature, good art, good theatre, good music,… they are suffering from the fact that art is not the primary moving force in their lives. They are suffering from the act, repeated daily of keeping up the pretense that they can go their way, lead their lives, without art.”***

A writer needs to author passages of words, which weave magic carpets for fellow seekers to ride on the wings of the wind. A musician must have time to hear the music in order to compose melodies that will reach down from heaven and elevate our souls to a higher plane.

Another world renowned composer and classical guitarist friend of mine, Eric Henderson, expressed to me, “When I compose a song, it is like listening to a melody in a far off village. As I listen, the melody comes closer and closer.” He wrote a ear-bending sonnet for his wife, so complex, that it took him two years to learn to play it after he wrote it.

As an architect, I attempt to compose structures and arrange the stagnant objects like rocks, wood and glass into a three dimensional symphony, so that the light can dance in the space. My other infamous quote, “Architecture was up all night, so that in the morning, the light could dance.”

In the starving times of my body or soul, I reach deep within myself, and high above myself, and as I keep reaching, I finally pull out a gold nugget. A poem or sketch that feeds the human soul.

In Proverbs we find “A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in pictures of silver.”****   I would not only like to paint beautiful pictures with my words, I would like them to feed people’s souls.

Just as Job writes about in his time of darkness, “ On the left hand, where He does his work, but I cannot behold Him: He hides himself on the right hand, that I cannot see him: But He knows the way that I take: when He hath tried me, I shall come forth as gold… for I have esteemed the words of his mouth more than my necessary food.”*****

The words of Job, a man who greatly suffered, feed my soul. If my body was puffed and fat, with too much abundance, my soul might be sluggish, and I would produce nothing but fluff. When a soul thirsts for true art, music, dance, creativity, one goes inward and upward, but also finds needed nourishment in drawing from the wells of other creators who has passed through their own valley of thirsting and made it a well.******

“Art provides a healing force which aids both the maker the viewer,” writes Richard Newman. Our souls need more than the mundane. Our souls need the moon and the stars. We need to feel the rush off the wind on our faces and think of the Creator of our souls who made the wind, the one who is breathing out his holy creative breath to anyone willing to listen and brave enough to breath it in.

As an artist, I feel that if I could live in the highest calling, my highest vocation, it would be to submerge myself, the one and only me, in my River of Gold, find the hidden riches, and pour out the treasures.

I encourage you to do the same!

—“The earth has music for those who listen.”  William Shakespeare

—”Creative work is not a selfish act or a bid for attention on the part of the actor. It’s a gift to the world and every being in it. Don’t cheat us of your contribution. Give us what you’ve got.” ~Steven Pressfield

—“Art is a collaboration between God and the artist, and the less the artist does the better.” ~André Gide

Lauri Matisse is an architect, artist, songwriter, and author of Eve’s Memoirs, no more black days and the Passion of Jesus.

Two new books coming soon!

  *Matthew 5:3

** Isaiah 45:3

***Big Sur and the Oranges of Hieronymus Bosch, written by Henry Miller, New Directions Publishing, 1957

****Proverbs 25:11

*****Job 23:9-12

******Psalm 84

The Seven Heads ‘ARE’ the Seven Mountains (includes Little Horn Info)

The Woman on the Beast

1Then one of the seven angels with the seven bowls came and said to me, “Come, I will show you the punishment of the great prostitute, who sits on many waters. 2The kings of the earth were immoral with her, and those who dwell on the earth were intoxicated with the wine of her immorality.”

3And the angel carried me away in the Spirit into a wilderness, where I saw a woman sitting on a scarlet beast that was covered with blasphemous names and had seven heads and ten horns. 4The woman was dressed in purple and scarlet, and adorned with gold and precious stones and pearls. She held in her hand a golden cup full of abominations and the impurities of her sexual immorality. 5And on her forehead a mysterious name was written:


The Mystery Explained

6I could see that the woman was drunk with the blood of the saints and witnesses for Jesus. And I was utterly amazed at the sight of her.

7“Why are you so amazed?” said the angel. “I will tell you the mystery of the woman and of the beast that carries her, which has the seven heads and ten horns.

8The beast that you saw—it was, and now is no more, but is about to come up out of the Abyss and go to its destruction. And those who dwell on the earth whose names were not written in the Book of Life from the foundation of the world will marvel when they see the beast that was, and is not, and yet will be.

9This calls for a mind with wisdom. The seven heads are seven mountains on which the woman sits.

The statue in Daniel 2 is 4 kingdoms or 4 reigns, 4 empires:

1. The Head of Gold: Babylonian Empire – Yahuweh revealed to Daniel what the Head of Gold was; it is Nebuchadnezzar and his Babylonian Empire. So the Head of Gold we already know for certain is the Babylonian Empire founded by Nebuchadnezzar.

2. The Chest and Arms of Silver: Persian Empire – Yahuweh revealed to Daniel that the Chest of Silver and the other parts of the statue were all empires that would come after the Babylonian Empire. The empire that came right after the Babylonian one, and usurped and replaced Babylon, was the Persian Empire, so the Chest of Silver has to be Persia.

3. The Hips of Bronze: Greek Empire – The Persian Empire was destroyed and replaced by the Greek Empire led by Alexander the Great, so the Hips of Bronze have to be the Greek Empire

4. The Legs of Iron that Divide and Fall Apart into the Feet of Iron and Clay Mixed: Roman and Islamic Empires – Rome, and later Islam, replaced and conquered the Greek Empire, so the Two Legs of Iron that become Two Feet of Iron and Clay have to be Rome and Islam, both divided parts of the same 4th Empire. Rome and Islam have continued to the present day, and there have never been any that have conquered them or replaced them. They have become divided up and weakened with clay as the Two Feet now, but they still exist and have never been destroyed.

Lining up Daniel 2 and Daniel 7 together, there are 4 Kingdoms in the statue that come, until Yahuweh comes and rules the earth, and there are 4 Beasts that come, until Yahuweh comes and rules the earth.

Beast 1: Lion with Wings and One Head = Empire 1: Head of Gold – Babylonian Empire

Beast 2: Bear with One Head and Three Ribs in Mouth = Empire 2: Chest of Silver – Persian Empire

Beast 3: Leopard with Four Wings and Four Heads = Empire 3: Hips of Bronze – Greek Empire that divided into 4 parts or 4 Heads

Beast 4: Unknown Beast with One Head and Iron Teeth and Bronze Claws = Empire 4 – Roman and Islamic Empires that stayed divided as 2 legs

Feet are Iron and Clay – Islamic – Roman Empires mix – This BEAST STANDS TODAY

So since the time of Nebuchadnezzar and Daniel there has been a total of 4 beasts or 4 empires in the region of the Middle East where Israel is located, and we are now at the end of the 4th Beast when it is weak and broken apart with iron and clay mixed together in the feet. The 10 Toes on the Feet of the Iron and Clay mixed are probably the 10 Horns in Daniel 7 that are on the final 4th beast.

The Beast Out of the Sea in Revelation 13 is the combining together of the 4 Beasts in Daniel 7:

The Leopard Body comes from Beast 3.

The Bear Feet come from Beast 2.

The Lion Mouth comes from Beast 1.

The Ten Horns come from Beast 4.

The Seven Heads come from All of the Beasts Heads Added Together.

When all of the heads are added together of all of the Beasts in Daniel 7 they equal 7 heads:

Beast 1 has 1 head + Beast 2 has 1 head + Beast 3 has 4 heads + Beast 4 has 1 head = 7 heads

4 Beasts- 4 World Empires with TOTAL 7 HEADS

Even though the previous empires before Rome and Islam were destroyed and no longer exist with any power or authority, a lengthening of life is given to them in the 4th beast as pieces of them continue on. The seven heads represent many layers of different things in Revelation 17. But the 7 mountains that they represent are the 7 things that have continued on from the previous beast heads of the previous empires, that are still in existence today as part of the current beast.

Head/Mountain 1: Babylon – Technology (Babylon was the first empire to conquer and rule using man’s technology and invention)

Head/Mountain 2: Persia – Diversity of Religion/Culture (Persia was the first empire to conquer and rule through diversity and freedom of religion

and culture)

Heads/Mountains 3: Greece – Philosophy/Education (Greece invented philosophizing about the world and created the idea that became the

modern education systems)

4: Greece – Pharmacy/Health Care (Greece invented the drug sorcery of the Pharmacy and modern medicine)

5: Greece – Democracy/Politics (Greece invented the system of Democracy and Politics that the modern world is based on)

6: Greece – Entertainment/Sports(Olympics)/Theater/Novels(Odyssey and Iliad) (Greece invented the modern entertainment

world of sports, novels, and theater/movies)

Head/Mountain 7: Rome/Islam – Connecting/Networking through Communication and Travel (Rome invented the modern concrete roads to make travel easier between cities, they invented the modern books and modern newspapers and postal services for better communication long distances still in use today, and Islam invented modern tar roads for easier travel as well as the camera and photographic images for better communication)

All 7 mountains of the 7 heads of the 4 beasts have continued to this day as the main principles that the beast system uses to rule and conquer and control and run the nations of the world.

Watch The 7 Heads are the 7 mountains on Rumble!

This is NOT on the 7 HEADS VIDEO:

The Little Horn is the only thing from Daniel that is completely missing in the book of Revelation, never mentioned once in the entire book.

The LITTLE HORN: (Possibly the AntiChrist -who ‘only subdues 3 horns it says in Daniel 7:8 ‘While I was thinking about the horns, there before me was another horn, a little one, which came up among them; and three of the first horns were uprooted before it. This horn had eyes like the eyes of a human being and a mouth that spoke boastfully.)

(This info below is from ‘calculatingthelastseven’ — about the Little Horn — I’ve said on my podcast that the Little Horn only subdues 3 horns (which could be people or nations) If Zayed is the Little Horn, he has already subdued the Pope (which is a horn or Nation (Vatican); The Grand Iman which is a Horn, but also represents 2 Horns (Sunni’s and Shiites) so that could be 3 horns) Also, the Head of EU joined with Pope and Grand Iman in the International Day of Human Fraternity, so that could be a 3rd horn that Zayed is related to.) If you watch the Feb. 4, 2021 International Day of Human Fraternity in Dubai, you’ll see Zayed is at the center)

About 7 years ago I had a dream about Obama, except that it was not Obama in the dream. Obama was in a lowly position in an army somewhere, someone that no one took any notice of, but through a series of power moves and ruthlessly eliminating his opposition in this army, he rose to become the general and total commander of this army, in complete control of it. I knew at the time this dream had nothing to do with Obama, but that he was just a picture of who the dream was really about, the Little Horn. From this dream I knew that the Little Horn had to be the general in command of an army of a nation somewhere.

Then about 2 years ago I had another dream in a place that was old, dirt streets like in a desert area like California or Mexico or the southern US. And there was a man in a black cape walking around on the street saying the word over and over again “elpocohandro”. I don’t know much Spanish and I had no idea what the word could even mean or if it existed as a real word. I wrote it down and then looked it up online and discovered that it was the Spanish words “El poco Jandro” which translate as “The Little Alexander.” I knew right away this was about the Little Horn, and after researching I discovered that the fictional character of Zorro had a father whose name was Alejandro (Spanish for Alexander) and that Jandro was the short nickname for Alejandro. Zorro was a “Little Alexander” the son of his father Alexander. But there is also the historical person of Alexander the Great, who is the horn on the goat in Daniel 8 that breaks into 4 horns and then a little horn or little Alexander comes up from one of them. Alexander the Great took power because he was a “defender of the people” which is actually the meaning of the name Alexander. Zorro was also the same way in the fiction stories about him. A defender of the little people who could not protect themselves. Alexander the Great took control of the Persian Empire by convincing all of the people to join him and live a better life under his rule. Zorro was a benefactor of the people, a man of the people, like Alexander the Great in many ways. Zorro was a hero that the people loved because he took care of them and defended them, he was one of them.

From the two dreams combined together I knew that the Little Horn had to be the General of an army, while at the same time he had to be considered a defender and man of the people, as well as a son of a man who was the same way, who lived as an equal of the people and considered a hero of the people for taking care of them and protecting them. And from Daniel 8 the Little Horn has to rise in the direction of the south-east of Greece, the south-east of the goat.

When we found Mohammed bin Zayed he fit all of the criteria. He is located in the UAE to the south-east of Greece. He is the crown prince of Abu Dhabi and also the General and head of the army of the UAE. He is known as a great benefactor of his people in the UAE, and his father Zayed bin Sultan even more so. His father Zayed bin Sultan created the UAE and is still revered as being an amazing Defender of the People, and Man of the People, who provided for everyone out of his own pocket even when he was poor. He would go hungry in order to give a meal to a poor family in his kingdom and he is the one who brought in all of the oil and wealth to the UAE, providing everyone their needs, even when he would go without. He sacrificed for the people and is exactly the image of Zorro, and his son Mohammed bin Zayed is like a Little Zayed following in his father’s footsteps.

So Mohammed bin Zayed fits all of the criteria of Daniel 7 and 8, with his trying to join together the Abrahamic religions and turn people away from the worship of the true God of Abraham into diversity of religion. It was Mohammed bin Zayed who wrote up the Human Fraternity Document and the Abraham Accords in the background, bringing Israel and God’s people into a covenant with death (Isaiah 28). The House of Abraham in the UAE is 1/4 completed now in its construction, that will have a mosque, a synagogue, and a church all together on the same property as a symbol of the world religions living together united in peace and harmony, and it is entirely Mohammed bin Zayed who is behind it. He is also building a Hindu temple in the UAE as well. Mohammed bin Zayed is also the richest man in the world with 1.3 trillion dollars, like Solomon was the richest man in the world, Solomon being the one connected with the number of the beast with 666 gold talents a year in his income.

Mohammed bin Zayed is only a little horn because he is only the crown prince of the UAE, he is not the king or ruler of the country. And finding him as the Little Horn does not help us to find the 10 horns, because the little horn is different from all of the other 10 horns according to Daniel 7. This means that we still do not know what the 10 horns are, and they could be anything or anybody. Since the 10 horns have to be different from the little horn they may not even be rulers or royalty of countries.

It is interesting that Revelation 17 says that the 10 horns are only given authority as kings with the beast for ‘one hour’ while the beast on its own has authority for thousands of years. If the 10 horns have authority for only one hour, compared to the beast which has had authority for over 2,000 years already, and has authority to speak blasphemies for only 42 months in Revelation 13, 1 hour is not much time to have authority in comparison. 

It could be that the 10 horns are not even in their positions of authority yet, and might not even be identifiable until just a few months or weeks or days or hours before the 42 months are completed and Yeshua returns. The Little Horn in Daniel 7 is given authority to wear out the saints for a time, times, and half a time or 42 months, but the 10 horns do not receive the authority until the last hour of the 42 months, which means they are not around very long in their positions of authority, and they may not even be in place yet right now, even though the Little Horn is already, according to the way Revelation 17 and Daniel 7 read.

So that should update you about Mohammed bin Zayed and all of the evidence that he is the Little Horn together with the supernatural dreams I had pointing to him.

from Author of Calculating The Last Seven

This video explains the 2 HORNS of the False Prophet and Includes Zayed Award, some clips of FEB 4, 2021


View recent youtube BANNED video on Rumble which is still up for now: INVISIBLE SECRET DOOR VIDEO

The Lord said to me, ‘I AM HIDING…’ July 25, 2021

(I will be posting videos on my blog, just need to figure out how to do it. LOL) Also, my podcast is not being sensored yet. I’ll post a link to podcast below.

Youtube took DOWN my recent video July 25, 2021 I posted. I didn’t say much about the vaccination,

except that I am not getting it because I am wanting to stay out of the ‘numbering system’ and I am

not getting the Covid ‘Mark’ which is the Covid Passport. The Green Passport in Israel is called the Green ‘MARK’

in Hebrew. It is the ‘MARK’ which numbers you and will later be placed on forehead or arm/hand.

I did, however, talk about adverse effects from the V, however, I did put important news information links about the V

into my Description Box. Is this why youtube took the video down? Why do they want to suppress the information

so much? Suppressing it makes me even more SUSPICIOUS.

FYI: Here are IMPORTANT links about the Adverse Effects and other IMPORTANT INFO

High School Student in Utah received Vaccination hospitalized with Blood Clots

Bells Palsy Side Effects

Deaths Reported due to Vaccination CDC US:

blood clots young men 16-30 years old linked to Pfizer Vaccine:

published June 23, 2021 regarding:

Data suggests ‘likely’ link between COVID-19 mRNA vaccines, rare heart issues in teens, CDC panel says

 is a Vascular Disease (Blood Disease) so the vaccination can attack the heart and blood (Vascular System)

Use of Fetal Tissue can get you released of needing the vaccination: Joni Erickson’s website on Covid info and Vaccine info 

Listen to Video on SPOTIFY PODCAST

My best friend’s husband just died from blood clots around his heart right after he got the covid vaccination which was mandatory at his work, week of September 20th, 2021.

This and other disturbing information about the ‘Mark’ of the Beast System, the False Prophet and the Times we are living in which I believe are the End Times and we are currently in the Tribulation. Thank you for listening and for sharing!
Dr. Charles Hoffe issues Vaccine warning… Deep dive on endothelial damage to blood vessels… – CITIZEN FREE PRESS

Great Doctors Info Video on Vaccine:

September 25, 2021

End Times 2017-2024

Are we in the Last Week of Daniel? The Last Seven Years – starting in 2017

YES, I believe we are.

I have been teaching on this for 3-1/2 years now, since the Revelation 12:1 Sign on September 23, 2017.

We are now heading into the 3-1/2 years of Tribulation… sadly, most people are not aware,

and even more sadly, most Christians are not aware.

Revelation 12:5

“Behold, I am coming like a thief! Blessed is the one who stays awake, keeping his garments on, 

that he or she may not go about naked and be seen exposed!”

The ‘Mark’ of the Beast is now here and the Abomination is also here, and could even be set up in our hearts if we are not careful. The Abomination in the Temple, (although I believe will still be set in Jerusalem), could be

‘setting up an idol in your heart, to worship God in your ‘own’ way instead of worshipping Yawheh,

through Messiah Jesus

Revelation 12:1 Sign September 23, 2017 – on the Feast of Trumpets – I had a Feast to Celebrate this End Times Sign

Although ‘No man knows the DAY nor the HOUR of His coming… Can we calculate the Year? or the Month?

The Last Week of Daniel, (Last Seven Years), I believe started at the Feast of Sukkot 2017 right after the Great Revelation 12:1 Sign which appeared on September 23, 2017. (We are in the corrected Hebrew Calendar Year 6021.)

To view my End Times 101 Series on Youtube:


It’s Later than we THINK!  Jesus came quietly. He died alone. 

How to recognize His Second Coming and Be Prepared. If His Own people Israel MISSED His First Coming, and His disciples DID NOT understand his Death on the Cross until later on… most of Main Stream Christianity will miss the signs of the Second Coming. 

The Parable of the Fig Tree (Israel), 

Matthew 24:32-34 brings us to 2017/2018

32 Now learn a parable of the fig tree;…

34 Verily I say unto you, THIS generation shall not pass, till all these things be fulfilled.

Israel’s rebirth which occurred in 1948, the treaty signed in 1947

He said that the generation which witnesses this come to pass would be the last generation before His return… 

A Generation in the bible is 70 years. It’s been exactly 70 years as of this year (2018) since the rebirth of Israel in 1948. So therefore, this prophecy, without any doubt in my mind, points to this generation as being the one which will see the return of our Messiah Jesus.

When Jesus came as a baby, only His parents, a few relatives, a few wise men following the stars in the Heaven, and a few shepherds knew.

When He got up on the first day of His Ministry in the Temple to announce He was their MESSIAH, His Own People THREW Him out of the Synagogue.

When He told His disciples He was to die and in 3 days be raised, Not One of them understood that HE was to ACTUALLY DIE on the CROSS.

When He ROSE AGAIN, He showed Himself to only a FEW WOMEN, then to others, but only to THOSE who believed. Herod, Pontius Pilate, etc, no one else saw HIM. Messiah is coming again, and many people will miss it until the end.

When He comes again, I believe He will come much the same. ONLY those truly HUMBLE and OPEN and WATCHING will be prepared for the way in which He orchestrates the LAST SEVEN.

I believe—-ONLY at the very END when He comes on the clouds, perhaps sometime in the Fall of 2024, when He stands on the MOUNT OF OLIVES, does HE MAKE A SHOW. 

If you don’t know Jesus. Call to Him and ask Him to forgive you of your sins, and you will be saved. John 3:16

For more info on the ‘Mark’ see my new page on my blog



Princess Diana and no more dark days

In 1994, I sent HRH Princess Diana of Wales, a copy of my first book, no more dark days, (originally entitled no more black days). 

in 1992, no more dark days, a gut-level, heart-gripping, inspirational account of eating disorders, severe depression and other compulsive behaviors which led to a miraculous healing in Messiah Jesus. 

A few weeks later, a nice letter from the Kensington Palace arrived, but it was a ‘form’ letter. I felt Princess Diana hadn’t received the book. 

The Lord gave me a verse, “By long forbearing is a prince persuaded…” Proverbs 25:15 I felt led to persevere, so I sent another copy to Kensington Palace in London. I had done my last year of Architectural Studies in London. I lived right next to Hyde Park where the Palace is where I ran everyday. I lived there in 1983 at the same time she did.

After a month or so after sending the second book, I received a letter with a quote from Princess Diana… “Thank you for the book… I was most touched by your kindness.” I was thrilled. I went on to send her letters, filled with prayers, scriptures and encouragement over the next few years. 

I had always felt close to Princess Diana for a number of reasons. We were born exactly one month apart. She was born July 1, 1961, and I was born June 1, 1961. She seemed to be fairly quiet and introspective growing up and I was, too. She married a man who was much older than her and I did, too. She was married in 1981. I was married in 1985. 

She had many demands placed on her as a young wife, which far surpassed mine, but I had many demands placed on me as a young Pastor’s wife so I could relate to her life in a small way.

I had read that she was struggling with bulimia and I could see in her eyes in photos, she was also struggling with depression. Her husband was in love with another woman and my husband was always putting me second to the women in his church. 

Her divorce was in 1996. Mine was in 1998, when my ex-husband left me for another woman in the church and lost his church. The press were constantly criticizing her. People in my life were constantly criticizing me and falsely accusing me.

Diana loved helping people and children and I do, too, even though not nearly to the extent of her beautiful service to others. 

These similarities caused me to have a deep love and compassion for Diana and pressed me to pray for her on a daily basis, which I did up until her death in 1997.

I had continued to write her letters up until June of 1997. 

My last letter to her included a ‘premonition’ I had received from the Lord of a ‘Shadow of Death’ covering her. I urged her to reconcile with everyone in her life. After I sent the letter, I felt like a crazy person who would never hear from her again. She died in August.

In my Sid Roth interview for no more black days on It’s Supernatural, I spoke of the experience. It meant so much to me that the Lord loved her so much, even though she had an untimely death, God is in control and this gave me peace. I received a vision of Diana in Heaven and know I will see her there one day.

no more dark days is in it’s third printing and continues to reach people with a special touch of God’s love. I hope it will reach you or someone in your life.

december 1982… (my diary)


i feel so scared

and so alone,

wondering why i keep trying

to smile

i feel like crying…

why me?

why do i feel so deep?

why am i different?

or am i?

i lay alone

unable to face reality


the cut is so deep

from my own knife,

dropping red on the script

as i perform

the most difficult act…

my life.

writing more

each day,

the show must go on.

more make-up please,

i need

a smile

for this scene..

no more dark days

this is my story…

my struggle to live through anorexia and bulimia

with severe depression,

rebelling against every known method of treatment,

which left me feeling alone,

that no one could understand or offer help.

until, i met someone who could offer me both…

not only could He see right through to my heart,

but He touched my life… gave me a brand new start.

this is not a typical nightmare of a girl starving for attention,

but a reality of hope, love and peace.

a way of life through Him who knows your heart…

the best part still remains,

He is available to you, too,

anytime, anywhere,

no appointment necessary.

all He asks for is a broken heart

waiting to be filled with perfect love…

i don’t have the answers, but He does…

my struggle to live through anorexia and bulimia

with severe depression,

rebelling against every known method of treatment,

which left me feeling alone,

that no one could understand or offer help.

until, i met someone who could offer me both…

not only could He see right through to my heart,

but He touched my life… gave me a brand new start.

this is not a typical nightmare of a girl starving for attention,

but a reality of hope, love and peace.

a way of life through Him who knows your heart…

the best part still remains,

He is available to you, too,

anytime, anywhere,

no appointment necessary.

all He asks for is a broken heart

waiting to be filled with perfect love…

i don’t have the answers, but He does…

— Author Lauri Matisse

The Passion of JESUS ~ I was Thinking of You…

Excerpt from my new book! 🙂 



Luke 22:39-52

“As we continued our journey to the Garden of Gethsemane, also called, “The Oil Press,” on the lower slope of the Mount of Olives, the golden lantern moon cast a shadow of My body onto the hillside. It was a long shadow—a looming shadow—a shadow of death.

I reflected on David’s twenty-third psalm.

“As I walk through the shadow of death, I will fear no evil.”

  This comforted My soul.

I thought of My disciples’ faces before we parted, as they questioned Me with their eyes full of wonder. I returned their gaze, looking deeply into each of their souls. They might have thought I would overthrow the Roman Government in a few days. They might have been asking themselves if they had the courage to fight for My Kingdom. Possibilities and scenarios of the events to come, crowded their minds, but I had already spoken.

As I soberly left to pray, I asked them to join me…

“Stay with Me and keep watch with Me.”

But alas, they were very sleepy.

I had to keep alert. It was vital for Me to keep watch. I watched and prayed, for after all, I knew what I must do.

As I began to pray, I did not notice the beauty of the moon’s shadows playing softly on the branches of the olive trees, for all the while, I was thinking of you. My soul was sorrowful, even to the point of death. My knees began to ache for I had been here quite some time. Tears began to fall as I prayed for you. The tears felt heavy. Each tear seemed to represent one soul, each precious human soul, of every generation, who depended on Me at this moment to make the decision that would save their life forever.

Great drops of thick, red blood began to fall down my face. I had never sweated drops of blood before. I asked My Father in heaven if there was any other way, for I knew the decision I had to make. I was thinking of you, as well as all of humanity, hanging in the balances between heaven and hell. I was fully aware of the cup that was set before Me. I knew the liquid I must drink, the liquid of My Father’s perfect judgment, the price of redemption. The cup contained the bride price for each soul. The Father’s price for his beloved people would require a blood sacrifice. The cup I must accept is the will of the Father.

The cup contained molecules of you, your life, your decisions, your sin, your death, but more importantly—your inherent need for atonement. The cup held the Garden of Eden, the fall of humanity, the sins of Adam and Eve, as well as the sins of every person who had ever lived, who was living now, or will live on the earth after tonight. The cup held the solemn words—No other way, but His way—the perfect way; the Way, the Truth and the Life of Me—Messiah Jesus.

If I died for many, the way would be complete. I contemplated the way which would be paved in My blood, as I prayed and wept…

“Father, if it is possible… if there is any other way…

Let this cup pass from before Me…”

I tasted blood on my lips and tongue as the drops of blood streamed down my face into my mouth—only a foretaste of what was to come. I heard a band of soldiers approaching in the distance. I could hear their angry voices, but they faded from view for, after all, I was thinking of you…”

Twenty-Five Scenes to give you a deeper sense of God’s love for you… 

“In The Passion of Jesus,

Lauri Matisse weaves together historical fact

with imaginative insight

regarding Jesus’ thoughts

of devotion for those He loves,

as He journeys

From Gethsemane to Calvary.”

Audio Version 

To order a print copy:

Eve’s Memoirs

“I held the fate of all humanity in my hands as I pondered the forbidden fruit, the apple of my wondering; the fruit of my desires, or so I thought. Before the first bite, I pondered the opportunity of it all, but was completely unaware of the enormity of the outcome. How could I have known?!

I was, after all, the first woman on planet earth. Who else can say that? The first woman. Cool, right? Not since that first bite. I’ve been blamed ever since that moment. But really, haven’t we all held the apple from time to time? What would you have done?”        *excerpt from Eve’s Memoirs, day one, year 100 of the dawn

Eve’s voice came to me one day. I was Eve, the first woman, writing my diary from the 100th year of the dawn. The voice came very naturally to me, as I have a heart bursting to love humanity, as a mother would love her children. As Eve’s Memoirs, progressed, it became much more of a spiritual and mystical journey, than I anticipated, but it seemed to encompass the women of the earth, in a way that transcended all barriers. 

 I call myself a modern mystic, because, years ago, when I was searching for a peer group, it was the voice of the Christian mystics, throughout generations, that spoke to me the strongest; such as, Hildegard of Bingen, (1098-1179), Saint Teresa of Avila, (1515-1582) and Saint John of the Cross (1542-1591). When I discovered these amazing souls, who had lived continually in an intense, intimate love relationship with God which superseded all else, I felt akin to them.

I am not a theologian, nor do I want to be one. As a mystic, I am open to spiritual possibilities, beyond what can be reasoned. I might be categorized as a Christian Mystic, but I prefer not to be labeled with an organized religion or subculture. If I one had to pick a label, I would prefer to be called a “Follower of Jesus Mystic.” But regardless of labels; the world now, and throughout history, needs mystics, those who step aside from current tides of philosophy, politics, and cultural waves. We need those who quietly listen to God and bringing forth revelation through art, writing, prayer, poetry, etc.

When I was 10, playing in a field behind my house, I had my first vision. All of a sudden, the heavens opened, and I saw thousands people, off in the distant future, who were reading my books about God. I felt called to be a writer.

I set out to be a playwright in college, and even though, I ended up studying architecture, I wrote my first book at age 23, no more black days. I published it a few years later, when, God brought me the exact amount of money I was praying for as a sign, on a beach in California, in a pink, wet wallet, washed up on the sand, with no I.D.

No more black days, was enjoyed by The Late Royal Highness, Princess Diana, among many others, who expressed they were touched by the book.

As a young writer, I followed authors who exhibited that fresh, love relationship with God in their work, such as Ann Kiemel Anderson, who wrote, Yes, and Frances J. Roberts, who wrote, Come Away My Beloved. I had the privilege of spending the day with Frances, in Ojai, years ago. At the close of our perfect day, I asked her to share with me the most important bit of advice that would help me as a Believer. What she said to me, flowed as a peaceful current, through the often tumultuous rapids of my life, over the next 30 years. She said, “Keep the love relationship between God and yourself as the number one priority.”

Even though spiritually based, Eve’s Memoirs is filled with wit and humor, along with a bit of practical advice which every woman needs to know, (and men, too)! You will find wisdom in Eve’s Memoirs to set you free and equip you as a woman to live a more satisfying life in the Garden, outside the Garden, and in your own inner Garden.

In Eve’s Memoirs, I hope you will relate to Eve’s longings, desires, frustrations and revelations. Eve’s wisdom from the Garden changed my life as a woman. I hope that by reading Eve’s Memoirs, you will find a bit of the mystic in yourself, which will help nourish you on your own life’s pilgrimage.

A Website.

Up ↑